Saturday, November 6, 2010

Being Reborn (Cause Daddy Said So)

As a Christian, if you think like an adult, you will act like a child.
Conversely, if you think like a child, you will act like an adult.

Let me explain.

I've talked with a lot of people. Especially Christians. Usually it happens that they want to hang out and talk, and, inevitably, the conversation will turn to them ranting about some issue in their lives that is causing them trouble, and I usually end up playing some kind of de facto counsellor (usually because my charge is a large double-double rather than a small mortgage). And often times, the problem is somewhat self-inflicted.

A dude who is so desperate for sex that he'll look to marry even if the woman is far from a Proverbs 31 woman, sometimes her salvation even being questionable. A woman who is so desperate for affection and intimacy that she'll consider dating a guy, even if he's not mature spiritually, even sometimes a non-Christian, but who is "interested in finding out about Jesus" or "is just struggling right now". These are the two primary problems I've encountered among professing Christians.

For those who aren't, the issues are far more varied, but usually involve some sort of ineffective defence mechanism they've built up in their life to deal with whatever pain and hardship is currently affecting their lives, be it drugs/drinking, sex, work, family, etc.

However, this is in regards to those professing to be Christians. In my last post I made note of a huge shift in my entire thinking process that God really started blowing my head up with a week or so ago. Since then, I've been struggling to articulate what exactly happened, how exactly my entire mental framework readjusted and what the actual shift was. Not an easy task. Especially for someone who likes working out every detailed angle, and so I do tend to confuse myself once in a while, thinking through every word choice and working out the logic piece by piece. What I was trying to work out was how one views God as a non-Christian or immature Christian versus one who is a mature Christian, and for a while, I was coming up blank.

And then a particular verse came to mind:
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)
And it hit me.

The analogy is like that of a parent and a child. When the child is young, the child trusts the parent absolutely. The parent is the ultimate authority, and the parent is the one who decides what is best for the child, and the child has no choice but to follow, for that is all he/she knows. Yes, a child will disobey, but wise and loving discipline will often correct the path of a child gone astray. Ultimately, the child has no real will of its own that is able to subvert the parent, for all a child knows initially is instinct, and all it learns, it learns from the parent. (This is, of course, assuming ideal parenting with a typical child)

However, as an adult, a child will often times take the parent's advice into consideration, but will have usually formed opinions of their own, stemming from sources beyond how their parents raised them. Parents' authority and wisdom are seen as finite and conditional, rather than absolute. Yes, the parent may have good things to say, and may have some influence on decisions made, but there is the freedom to obey or disobey, to agree or disagree, because that person is "capable of making their own decisions." Their logical and rational capacities have increased to the point where they no longer see themselves as dependent on their parents but are, rather, independent beings working on their own life.

What the Bible is saying, what Jesus is saying about becoming like a child is not in action or in thought, not being "childish", which, in regards to action or thought, is usually understood in the Bible as a synonym for foolishness. (ex. 1 Cor. 13:11) Rather, it is meant in relational terms, meant to explain how one who is a worshipper of God is to view that interaction and relationship. The ESV study note for Matt. 8:3 explains this as "a childlike trust, vulnerability, and the inability to advance his or her own cause apart from the help, direction, and resources of a parent." Essentially, the entire framework of the mindset of a Christian is one that surrenders the authority and autonomy an adult assumes they have over their own life, and viewing God the way a young infant child views a mature, loving parent: completely dependent in every sense. There is no real, rational room for disagreement or independence; such children are not capable of such things.

When I talked with those Christians who were making those foolish decisions, they viewed God as an adult child views their parents. They knew what the Bible said, and had a decent grasp on Biblical theology. And what I would hear would be that, yes, God had things to say about what they were doing, and yes, He really did disagree. Sometimes they would even nod their head and agree that yes, they had to change what they were doing. But ultimately, whether they could admit it to themselves or not, they felt that what they were doing was right, and although they would never say it, their life was saying for them what they couldn't admit, what an adult child says of a parent with whom they are at odds: they just don't get where I'm coming from, they just don't understand, they should be tolerant of the fact that I don't agree with what they say, they'll love me either way, and in the end, I know what is best for myself.

And in the end, apart from a miracle of grace and mercy, it almost never works out for good.

But when I've talked with Christians who have walked faithfully with Christ, grown to be wise, and have made good decisions, what I often hear is reminiscent of a young child: that's my parent, they love me, they know what's best for me, they know more than me, I have no reason to think otherwise, and so even when it doesn't make sense, I obey them. Or, to sum it all up, in the eyes of a child full of affection and respect for their parents, "cause Daddy (or Mommy) said so." And that's why, in the following verse, Jesus said that to be greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven, one would have to humble themselves like a child.

For so long as we try to hold on to any independence from God in any sense, we will continue to find ourselves stumbling into folly. So long as we view God as the parent who's too old-school to have any real idea of what we're dealing with, we'll continue to hurt both ourselves, those around us, and the God who redeemed us for the very purpose of making ourselves His children. This is what makes it huge when, of any title God could have chosen to reveal Himself as, He chose to reveal Himself as "Father", because whether we want to admit it or not, we are every bit as dependent on Him as infant children. And He is far more loving, wiser, and generous than any parent we could find on earth.

And this is the change that the Holy Spirit is continuously causing in my own mind.

Up until recently, if anyone asked why I believed what I did, and why I acted how I did, the truest answer would probably sound something like, "Well, logically, after all I've observed in both the Christian life and non, this is really the best and most fulfilling life, since I see the effects of sin and it doesn't hold much sway to what the Bible teaches is right and wrong."

Now, more and more every day, the truest answer I could give would be simply,

"Cause Daddy said so."